Can't I Mow?

All I wanted to accomplish today was to get the backyard mowed. Well, I got about 1/4 of it done... I guess that it just wasn't in the cards. But, it was such a beautiful night tonight. I just wanted to be outside. What did I do instead? Well, I drove the kids around. We wound up at Michael's tonight. If I had a dime for every mile I've put on the old Beast this week, I would be able to pay for all the gas that it's sucked down. (not quite... but close). At first, I could drive everyone around and get James to take a nap. He's become a bit more immune to it as the week has progressed. It took two tries today.

Doug is working late again. Boy, if he came home and said that for whatever reason he quit/lost his job, etc. I can't say that I would be sad. I know that I sound selfish, but I am just totally tired of this single parent thing. I am totally exhausted... totally alone... totally sad. It has just really worn me out. My neighbor once (recently) told me that I am at the loneliest stage of parenting... and boy is she right. If Doug isn't around, I basically have nobody except for the kids. How sad is that? Don't get me wrong, I love to be with the kids, but I honestly get NO break... ever. And, I have nobody close to me that I could just call up and say, "hey, let's go get a coffee... or go hit the mall... or..." I know that a lot of that is my fault. It's hard to keep contacts with people when you are a mommy (hence, my neighbor's comment). But, my family isn't even close really. Mendi is in GA. Mom and Dad aren't too far away, but really they are involved in their own things (which is totally understandable). This will pass, I'm sure... Just needed to get it off my chest.

Amanda did the sweetest thing last evening. I had loaded up the truck to go get my dinner - a Papa John's pizza. Of course, the two kiddos fell asleep while we were out and about. I brought Amanda in and put her in her bed. Her eyes fluttered open for a brief moment to figure out where she was. At that same time, Doug appeared and poked his head in her door. She sat straight up, eyes wide open and said, "I saw Daddy!!!" Even though I saw him, I told her that she must be hallucinting. She said that she wasn't. He came back in and she was ecstatic. I guess that I'm not the only one who's been wishing him home more often.

Tomorrow is the big day... Swimming lessons for both kiddos! Should be fun :)